Bored in Quarantine? Here's 5 Plagues You Can Still Get At Home

Ugh. Quarantine–we’re all pretty sick of it by now. No going to the movies? No haircuts? No public orgies? How are we supposed to stay sane?

Fortunately, though you can’t go outside and catch the newest fad in disease, we’ve compiled a list of the top 5 plagues you can still get while hunkered down in your own home.

1. Polio

Surprise! You may have thought Polio is gone for good, but it’s recently been trending upwards among anti-vaxxers. But hey, who’s complaining? This wouldn’t be the new Roaring Twenties without a healthy dose of Polio.

2. Smallpox

Alright, this one might not be “officially” back yet, but here’s hoping!

3. Black Death

Coming in at some 100,000,000 million deaths, this plague is a must-have on any list of household ailments. Black Death was sent by God to purge the world of sin and wickedness all the way back in 1346. Wow, feel old yet?

4. Plague of King David

If you’re stuck at home with just your TV and your threshing floor, then look no further than the #4 for three full days of plague in your land! God sent us this righteous punishment for King David’s foul sin of conducting a census of all Israel. So, the LORD sent a plague on Israel from the first morning until the end of time designated, and seventy thousand of the people from Dan to Beersheba died.

5. Plague of the Firstborn

Is your eldest son ever NOT getting on your nerves? Ugh! Well then this plague is for you, for this is what the LORD says: “About midnight I will go throughout Egypt. Every firstborn son in Egypt will die, from the firstborn son of Pharaoh, who sits on the throne, to the firstborn of the slave girl, who is at her hand mill, and all the firstborn of the cattle as well. There will be a loud wailing throughout Egypt–worse than there has ever been or ever will be again.”