Much like birds through the windshields of semi trucks on the interstate, Americans are hurtling through the month of October breathless and twitching! November 3rd is right around the corner and reputable pollsters like Five-Thirty-Eight, Monmouth, and The New York Times have many state senate races as a total tos—up. It seems that we won’t be certain the outcome of who controls the Senate until election night. However, recent developments within the Montanan Senate race have the country reeling.

In a stunning act of bipartisanship, incumbent Senator Steve Daines and Governor Steve Bullock have publicly agreed to a permanent armistice, simultaneously committing to creating what they refer to as an “All-Steve Senate”.

At a press briefing hosted at the Famous Dave’s in Billings, Montana, Wallstreet Journal political correspondent, Jolene Horatio asked Senator Steve Daines, “What prompted such a bold turn in campaign strategies?”

Daines responded by dramatically ripping off a barbeque sauce stained bib and proudly promulgating, “Bullock and I found out just recently that we may have way more in common than we could have possibly imagined. Which is why we’ve decided to put aside our differences in order to enact the Steve-Wave Initiative.”

The initiative sieves through state attorneys, district judges, and committee members recklessly selecting only those individuals named “Steve” to run for Senate seats. Then, hundreds of thousands of tax dollars are dumped into Steve-centered ads. An idea which they repeatedly tried assuring the press was, “fool-proof”.

“If we just keep flooding senate races with Steves, it becomes increasingly more likely that more Steves will be elected and hold Senate seats. It’s time Americans stopped focusing on what separates us, and more on what we can do with our common ground. Namely, our names.” Bullock stated between downing entire racks of spare ribs.

As a symbol of their political union, Daines has committed to disavowing the NRA. “Listen, weapons aren’t a necessity with a Steve-run Senate. Violence will be a thing of the past, crime rates will drop drastically, and the hungry and needy will be fed Texas Beef Brisket.”

In return, Bullock has committed to stop stealing peoples’ penises. However, he refuses to go further and express regrets for having done so in the past. “Have you guys tried the garlic parmesan wings? They’re blowing my ‘freaggin’ mind.” The governor stated in a cold sweat when pressed on the sins of his past.